Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Job Hunt Continues.... But wait, what is this?

So the job search has been going on for months. A daily ritual that has brought about three interviews and one second interview with a company that I am really hoping to get in with. The pay is great, the work is something that I can easily accomplish and there’s hope for bigger and better things if I get in the door. I’m just waiting for the phone to ring. So in the mean time I still look, I’ve seen a lot of jobs advertised that say “Must be Korean” or “Must be Spanish Speaking” and I think, if there was an ad that said “Must Speak English” or "Must be White" I bet there would be an instant law suit. So I keep looking. Today I found the ad that really sparked my imagination. Some poor bastard is really going to apply for it too. This one brought about sound effects with the visions, I could hear electrical shocks accompanying screams, I heard the smash of broken glass and constant yelling, the thump of a body crashing into walls, . . .. . Horrible things, Smack! (back hand across the temporal lobe) WIPE UP THAT BLOOD! (kick in the groin while your down on the floor) Stop bleeding all over the place, get me my coffee you idiot and YOUR NEVER GOING TO BE FIRED! YOUR NOT THAT LUCKY! This job sounds like a torturous abusive environment that only a fool would apply for. And it’s a non-paid internship. What kind of a ……. I have no words.. I pasted the ad below, the names and locations have been X’d out to protect the innocent (me).


Date: 2010-03-04, 10:16AM PST
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

Exceptionally busy office needs a (very) hard-working masochist to perform menial labor. We are a real estate office, but you will be asked to do things well beyond the scope of real estate. You will not be appreciated. You will be asked to do things well beneath your skill set and paid less than what you're worth. You should expect to cry and break down on a daily basis. Deal with it!!! You will be asked to perform tedious and repetitive tasks and complete them in an unrealistic time frame. Coffee runs and lunch duties are a given! Expect to work well beyond overtime but not get paid overtime! Must be available 24/7! Think Ari on Entourage is a difficult boss and his assistant Lloyd is suffering? Think again! If you have ever seen Ugly Betty, shoot towards being a Marc Saint James type of assistant plus a million! You must always be a hundred steps ahead of the boss! Think you can handle it? Up for a challenge? Then this is the job for you! Email us today to set up an interview! No resume required!!!

• Location: xxxxxx
• Compensation: Experience!!!
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.